At last, a plan. We saw the specialist urologist at Sunnybrook and he has a surgical strategy: a combination of an open and transvaginal approach to my defect repair. He still holds little hope that it will work (“It may fall apart that same day,” he said) but he will try it. The surgery date is likely 1 March.
But there is a new development as well! We saw an expert in an obscure treatment known as Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. It involves breathing in high levels of oxygen under pressure, which improves the quality and operability of radiated tissue. There is a special chamber at the QEII Hospital in Halifax. She strongly recommended that I do not attempt any surgery without 30 days HBOT preoperatively, and 10-15 treatments postoperatively. To access it, I will need to live in Halifax at the Lodge That Gives for seven consecutive weeks. Treatment must occur within 5-7 days on either side of the surgery. Postoperatively, I will need to go to Toronto General for the HBOT.
The “dives” will be each day at 7 am or 10 am for 90 minutes each day except weekends and holidays. Which means I must twiddle my thumbs for the rest of the day in Halifax until the next treatment. To avoid Christmas disruption, I will start January 6th. Others who have undergone this treatment tell me the loneliness of living away from home for so long is challenging. Although this will be a hardship, I want to know that I did everything I could to improve my dubious outcome.
Today, we met with an Ontario couple who read The Cancer Olympics. The husband was tearful as he thanked us for giving them the inspiration they needed to get through the same cancer and its brutal complications. It was touching, and warming, and comforting – all at the same time. Feedback like that helps us to go on.
Superstar Sting wrote “Another Day” as the B side for his famous song “If you love someone set them free” for his first post-Police 1985 solo album Dream of the Blue Turtles. I prefer the live version from his live album of 1986 Bring on the Night. I choose it to reflect how, when each day ends, I am hopefully one step closer to defect recovery. At the same time, each day that goes by erases one from my foreshortened life. So I am hopeful and sad, both at the same time.
Every day that goes by
A new hungry baby starts to cry
Born astride a painful grave
Drowned in hunger's tidal wave
Pick a child that you can save
It'd be the only one
If Africa escapes starvation
Not only food but education
The desert grows with every minute
Trapping everybody in it
All the children look the same
They wonder why they came
But it's hard to tell the poison from the cure
It's harder still to know the reason why, why, why
The only thing I really know for sure
Is that another day, another day's gone by
Every day that goes by
A brand new missile points towards the sky
We're survivors of a game of chance
Beneath an arms race avalanche
If you survive this winter's cold
You'd be the only one
If we escape annihilation
Not only hope but education
The world is ruled by Bellophiles
Adding to their weapon piles
Imagine what your taxes buy
We hardly ever try
But it's hard to tell the poison from the cure
It's harder still to know the reason why, why, why
The only thing I really know for sure
Is that another day, another day's gone by,
bye, bye
That this too solid flesh
Would melt and resolve into a dew
Suffocating lassitude
Drowning in my platitude
Trapped by insecurities
I'm not the only one
If I survive this dislocation
Have to use my education
Chief of inactivity
Wasted creativity
Distances our revolution
Silence is consent
But it's hard to tell the poison from the cure
It's harder still to know the reason why, why, why
The only thing I really know for sure
Is that another day, another day's gone by
Bye Bye, Bye Bye.
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